Suddenly I've realized that somewhere along the line of having kids and becoming a mom, some of myself just kind of slipped away. I was a target shopping for baby food when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. WTF?! I was wearing house slippers, polka-dot mom blue-jeans, with a horribly fitting polka-dot blue button up. Luckily I had my baby carrier over the majority of the top. For me, this was rock bottom. I went home and filled a huge box of ill-fitting clothes, and striped-everything and drove it directly to our local thrift store. When did I settle on looking mediocre instead of the way that I want to look?! When did I start shopping primarily at the old-navy clearance rack?! Out with the old!
Its not only about appearances, I feel like I am not really sure who I am anymore as well. A few weeks ago I found myself with a bit of kid free time to kill, and seriously, I couldn't even remember what I like to do. Do I still enjoy sitting in a cafe and reading alone, Or would I like to go to a bookstore and treat myself to a new magazine? I kept answering myself 'no don't get a magazine when will you ever find time to look at it?' etc. I am my own worst enemy, and I am now on a path of self-discovery.
I bought myself
this journal and I am jumping in with both feet. Care to join?!
I put that journal on my wish list. No time for self discovery until I am done with this semester.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know exactly what you mean. I find myself reevaluating my life and my identity and who I am really. It is hard when your life is absorbed with kids.
Ps do a blog post on unschooling Haze! I am thinking about doing it next year if Tim goes back to school and I am at home with them instead of sending them to preschool again.
You're not alone. Thanks for putting into words how I feel too.
ReplyDelete